I don't know if I expect much from this year. I initally hadn't given it much thought so I wasn't looking forward to Jan. 1. I'm not exactly excited about this year, but I am in a different headspace. I figure I can make steps toward my future and actually make the effort to have an iota of faith that something will work out in my favor. As someone once said, failure isn't forever. We only fail when we stop trying to succeed. I'd made it to the destination last year. 2010 was a blur of lack of accomplishments, something I wasn't used to. Some of it was because things didn't work out naturally. Other times it was because I didn't want to take the chance to believe that the next thing would work out.
Now I'm aking the effort to be more open, prayerful, trusting of God, and setting goals everyday and at least 3 goals every month to keep myself occupied. I've actually accomplished 2 goals already. That's a good thing. I would hate to say I'm optimistic because of the weight that word carries. Let's just say I'm not as pessimistic as I was two weeks ago.
I have my head screwed on a little bit straigther. I'm still trying to find God in all of this. I see a little bit of him everyday, so that keeps me going. It's all about making the decision to seek God in whatever situation we're in. I wasn't a fan of the philosophy, but that only drowned me in a deeper depression so I decided that as much as I was tired of working so hard to get my foot in somebody' door, I was even more emotionally exhausted. I needed a change.
I hope 2011 will be much different. I've made a prayer list.
I'll let you know when I scratch some things off.
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