An Abundant Life: The Lack Thereof

John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

I read this scripture and it occurred to me that as much as Christ came to give us an abundant life, it eludes many of us, including myself. I mean, think about it: what does abundance mean to us and how come we're not living it? We can blame the economy, family history, illness, and the general state of the world. Those are all understandable barriers to abundant living. But if Christ came to save and deliver us, then can he not break those barriers? Can he not give us just a glimpse of His greatness? Wasn't His salvation enough. Sadly, for a lot of us, I don't think it is. Do we really want to have an abundant life?

I'm one of those people who finds solace in things, not necessarily people all the time. I tire of people easily, but I somehow manage to develop a relationship with the abstract. The arts. Expression. I guess it's my drug of choice. When I forget all else and drown in a good book, a fashion show, a beautiful movie, and even a drag show, I get this high I suppose addicts get. (okay maybe not that extreme.) But I got lost in these things and they inspire new creative ideas and a new way of thinking about different topics and experiences. There is an abundance of freedom. Then I had a thought:

Why don't I have that same abundance of life when it comes to my religious faith? Why am I not that jazzed about the Gospel? How come I don't get butterflies in my stomach about Christ? I used to. Then reality set in and I chose to be a realist over the commitment to have faith in the unseen and the things to come. I guess sometimes having faith seems so childish and being mature means being prepared. Babes don't question; men do. And that's when intellect gets in the way. I know it has in my case. Then we let it hold us hostage.

I'm not so sure we always want to be free. It's easier to hold ourselves hostage than to go on the path of revelation and action. We can be the victims for a change. It's self preservation that only preserves lack. Then you hear those random stories of people who are having a difficult time, but still trust God. They are living abundantly because they choose to lean on him and give Him their dreams. These stories always annoyed me because I couldn't understand how these people could live and believe beyond their circumstances. Maybe some of it was jealousy. Even now.

And I've realized one thing: I'm not allowing Him to give me the abundant life, whatever it is. Perhaps we have different versions.