I don't know: irrelevance or is it?

I'm not really sure what to write today. Every other time seemed to be measured by purpose, but today is all about spontaneity I guess. I've been searching for some sense of adventure for the last year and this seems to be all that I could muster up so far. So bear with me if this post seems a bit scatterbrained. I don't have any control.

I don't know what to talk about today. Maybe I could just be a mindless drone and post stuff about celebrities. Or maybe discuss the human injustices of the world without actually doing anything. I mean, isn't that we're known for in this country? Or maybe I'll discuss some topic for which I have no knowledge of. That's the thing about human nature: we can be so self-righteous in our own since of oblivion and we perish for lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6). Well, at least God's people do.

I think we've (okay, maybe just me) have gotten so used to acquiring knowledge that we've forgotten the journey of understanding what we've obtained. Or even worse, we get into these ideological debates without actually knowing what the hell we're talking about. It's a war of mindless words. I mean read the newspaper (omg, those things still exist?!) or watch Fox news (especially) or some other newsgatherer. Oh, you don't have to go that far. Start a conversation about a controversial topic and actually listen to the answers you'll get. No, wait. Don't just listen; watch the reactions (the shifting eyes, the tense mouths, the arms folded over the chests, the elevated pitches, etc.). And if you're watching/listening close enough, you'll realize these people are having melodramatic responses without any real educated dialogue. Trust me; I've done it many a times. I guess that's why I'm making an effort to keep my mouth shut on some topics. I'm outraged by my own snobbery. For someone who has so many issues with my own country/society/culture, I've shamefully admitted to myself that I'm very much a product of it. But what can you do? Move to another country and become a part of it?

I actually have been thinking of moving out of the country for a while. There goes that sick need for an Eat, Pray, Love experience. I'm sure I won't meet any desirable, interesting men and eat nothing but carbs, but Julia Roberts and Elizabeth Gilbert have been a recent source of inspiration.

Then again, this all seems somewhat irrelevant. I'm having an irrelevant conversation with myself with no one listening as usual. My cynicism is beginning to run a little low and I'm wondering about the relevance of that, too. Or maybe this conversation with myself is the continuance of self-discovery. But it does seem that this will never end and I will always be stuck in the same stagnant state I've been in for almost a year and half. It makes me wonder if I'm missing some mark somewhere. I guess I need an eharmony page for my destiny. I'm still trying to discover it. Wherever it is?

I've just realized this post is more about looking for some sense of self, adventure, relevance, completion, and fulfillment. Well, maybe this isn't as irrelevant as I thought.