Oh, how therapeutic this is.
Well, to a certain extent.
I woke up this morning with the strangest idea that if I want to accomplish something, I need to set acheivable goals to meet. Oh, wow. This is an ingenious idea that never occurred to me or I think to most people.
I'm one of those strange people that just does stuff or the dominoes seem to fall perfectly into sequence. But that all changed last year and I'm now in the process of rediscovering lost passions. Let me rephrase that; the passions where never lost, they were just stiffled by university life.
It occurred to me that if I want to be a writer I'll have to take some writing classes or read books on the process and craft. I'll have to write everyday and submit things to journals or magazines (which I did about an hour ago. I'll let you know what happens). I'll have to stop waiting for things to happen. I realized that's mostly what I do. I just wait. And wait. I guess I'm still waiting for God to make my decisions for me.
I thought about contests I could've entered when I was younger, meetings I could have attended, people I could've actually taken the time to talk to. I could've entered that poetry contest. I could've gone to film school if it hadn't donned on me until recently. I could've gone out on a date with that guy (you know, whatshisname).
Some say we shouldn't live in the land of the shoulda, coulda, wouldas, but if we don't, we won't take stock in the experiences we've missed out on. If we don't, then we don't take a chance on our future. We just keep rolling because we don't want to face the realization that most often we are the ones that hold ourselves back. At least that's some of the truth for me.
People think I'm so confident about myself and my future. That's not entirely true. I'm just as insecure as the next person, if not more. Now, I have to create the next step instead of just waiting for it to appear under my feet.
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