Hello, all. I have a special announcement: It's my birthday!
Oddly enough, I'm not feeling the celebratory mood. Oh, I more than content and happy to see another year, but I've been in more of an introspective mood these last few days and it has sort of melted over on this one special day.
Through much prayer, Bible reading, and general reflection about my life, I believe God has shown me not only where He's brought me from and where I'm going, He's also let me in on a few secrets about myself:
1. I can be a know-it-all
2. I usually think I'm better than others because my life turned out a little more positive (or may have made wiser decisions)
3. I assume others experience because of knowledge of past patterns
4. I have a lot of defense mechanisms
5. I rely too much on being a loner to actually connect with people (even my only family)
6. I expect people to know where I'm coming from, but I don't always try to accept their experiences either
and here's the kicker,
7. I usually think lesser of people who try to be "nice" and have confused honesty with some times kicking people when their down
Now, this is not a moment to ride the Beat Myself Up and You Must Have Low Self-Esteem to be Relatable Train, but this is a moment for me to be honest about myself and my life. I spend a lot of time talking about authenticity, which I firmly believe in. But sometimes I don't recognize my shortcomings and how I just may not be as authentic as I think I am. I'm first to admit my faults (as about millions of you have just seen, well, that's if you've made it to this site), but I'm also willing to take responsibility for it.
I can be a snob, a snot, an elitist, etc. But I am the only the I can expect to be: Human. God didn't put any of us on this Earth to please the next person, but He I believe He did put us here to be His manifested glory. And sometimes that includes falling on our faces and realizing that we're nothing without Him. Sometimes that means recognizing and understanding the ugly truths about ourselves. That's how we grow. That's how we are relatable. That's how we mature.
Okay, so this isn't the conventional celebration for a birthday, but I'm content in knowing that I'm not perfect and I have a long way to go to be who God and I want me to be.
There, I said it: I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, that's a relief.
